"A Clueless Twit"
Season Survivor: Culture Clash
Author IAmNothing712
Episode Number 4/15
Episode Chronology
Previous "Slave Labor"
Next "A Miserable Old Fool"

This is the fourth episode of Survivor: Culture Clash.

Previously on Survivor


Reward Challenge: SOS
The tribes will create a distress signal. The tribe with a signal that is deemed better by the pilot would win reward.
Reward: Survival items (knife, cookware, canned goods – corned beef, beans, sardines), spices, fishing gear, some wine, a jar of coffee and sugar, blankets, a tarp and mosquito nets
Winner: Amihan

Immunity Challenge: New Tribe Member
Both tribes will traverse a very long military-style obstacle course, while carrying a 10 foot tall, 300-pound dummy. First tribe to make it to the finish line with their dummy, wins immunity. At any point, tribe members may bail themselves out from the challenge if they feel the dummy is too heavy for them to bear any longer.
Winner: Amihan


Night 8

The Amihan tribe returns to camp after voting out Jorge. Tommy chastises Elle for voting out Jorge, ostensibly giving Beatrix's alliance an opportnity to recover. Elle explains that Jorge became too much of a threat than he should be, as he was the swing vote. Tommy then castigates her, pushing Jorge out of the alliance by alienating him.

Elle is not really the brightest of bulbs here on this tribe. She thinks she is the stuff, but what she did with Jorge will soon blow to her face.


On the sidelines, Beatrix is relishing the moment, satisfied by Elle's fall from grace. Beatrix tells her alliance about Lana and Cataleya from the other tribe, who were offering their allegiance to them. Budd, who was with Beatrix during the feast, warns her about the idea of letting the two Habagat girls join them, as they could be fooling them.

During the feast reward, Lana and Cataleya offered themselves to join our side. But what scares me is that, I don't know either of them, but Beatrix does. I tried not to leak too much information about our tribe. I don't know if Bea made deals with them, but now, more than ever, I have to keep an eye on Beatrix.


At Habagat, the tribe laughs at Wyatt, who loudly snores while he sleeps. Simon notices Kaito cuddling with Moira, who end up kissing each other. While the majority Habagat alliance consisted of everyone, minus Lana and Cataleya, Simon tells Cap that it might not hurt if they vote Moira out to remove a possibly dangerous couple.

Kaito is definitely hooking up with Moira. Moira is stunning, perhaps one of the most beautiful women in this game. But Kaito's been drooling over her these past few days, and in the game of Survivor, couples are always powerful. Right now, disposing Lana and Cataleya can wait, as Moira's being a distraction to one of our strongest members.


Day 9

At Amihan, the tribe is in very high spirits, with Tommy introducing his luxury item, his puppet parrot named "Lloyd", and their puppet show left the tribe in stitches.

It's been a torturous experience being out here, but at least I have kept my sanity, which is an accomplishment. *laughs* Some months before Survivor, my girlfriend broke up with me the day when I proposed marriage. She told me I wasn't her marrying type. It was a cold slap in the face. That's why I decided to apply for Survivor to find who I am and what I am made of. This is the beauty of this game: you realize don't know what you really have, and you just discover surprising new things about yourself. I try not to show that fear of rejection to anyone, that's why I scolded Elle last night because what she did to Jorge would lessen my chances of winning now that the two alliances are now even, 4-4. Getting voted out means rejection for me.


The tribes are informed of their next Reward Challenge via Tree Mail. Similar to their previous one, this Reward Challenge is to be done at camp, because it is the quintessential distress signal challenge. The tribes are given 24 hours to conceptualize and build their signals. A plane would fly over them, judging the signals based on their visibility, creativity and most of all, effectivity. Tree Mail also reveals their reward: A crate full of survival items such as knives, cookware, canned goods (corned beef, beans and sardines), spices, fishing gear, some wine, a jar of coffee and sugar, blankets, a tarp and mosquito nets. With the Habagat tribe having one extra member, they have to choose one tribe member who will not have direct or indirect input in Habagat's signal. With no hesitation, Cap chooses Cataleya, much to her annoyance.

It's the second time I was not chosen to participate in a challenge. I am getting annoyed. I am not that weak! I can walk!


The participating Habagat members throw in their individual ideas. Lana on the other hand, feels her opinion is not being considered and doesn't matter to them, and furiously walks away. Frustrated by the drama Lana caused, the tribe goes through the whole morning with no definite plans for their signal.

Lana is such a piece of work. She acts like she's the queen bee of the tribe, but she's obviously not. A bee that stings us to death maybe, but she's not a queen, and she's certainly NOT my queen!


Cap notices another problem at camp: Wyatt has been resting the whole day in the shelter while everbody's doing their part at the challenge, even working less than Cataleya, who is busy putting her attention at camp chores instead.

We have a drama queen, now we have a sloth. How could this tribe be any worse?


At Amihan, Elle and Beatrix plan on a creative phrase that could catch the pilot's attention. Lawrence and Rosita propose that their signal should be on a clear, long part of their beach. Elle and Beatrix come up with a comical acronym for "SOS": Send our S***! The tribe unanimously agrees because of its comedic effect.

If a curse word can't call someone's attention, I don't know what will!


Back at Habagat, Cap and Lana hash things out, with the former promising to take the latter more seriously. The tribe agree to make a large "SOS" with a bonfire in the middle. The tribe finishes their signal by sunset. At the back of her head, Lana still doesn't trust Cap, or anyone other than Cataleya.

Cap's kissing my ass definitely.


Day 10

The tribes wake up early to witness the arrival of the much awaited aircraft. A helicopter hovers over the islands of Palawan to take a look at the tribe's distress signals. The Habagat tribe struggle to transfer their fire to the "O" in their "SOS." As Jeff's chopper hovers over the Habagat camp, the fire inside "O" completely runs out. The pilot comments that while Habagat's signal is impressive, he wished the fire was bigger. The pilot also chastises that the signal is too close to the jungle to be easily recognized.

The chopper goes to the Amihan camp, where the tribe assembled several twigs on a clear part of the beach, forming a massive "Send Our S***" message (as a pun on SOS), while frantically running in circles around the beach screaming for help. The pilot praises the tribe's use of the clearing as their platform for their signal, and the use of comedy and movement. The pilot deems Amihan's signal is better, and declares them the winner of the challenge. The drop master drops the supply crate at waters near the Amihan camp. The Amihan tribe cheers for joy for their victory. Budd and Tommy swim toward the crate and bring it to shore.

Winning these much items compensated the three challenges we've lost. I hope this will boost our morale up enough to win the next Immunity Challenge.


The tribe rips the box open, and sees an abundance of items, from tarp, mosquito nets and few bottles of wine to boot. While the tribe is busy unpacking, everybody assumes that a Hidden Immunity Idol clue is planted somewhere in the crate, the tribe searches for the clue as a group. Budd discovers the note when it accidentally slips off the tarp. The tribe sees the clue falling on the ground. As an act of courtesy as opposed to Lana's way of dealing with the clue, Budd reads the clue aloud.

I am annoyed by the fact that everybody gets to read the clue. I want the idol, only for me.


The Amihan tribe frantically scatters around camp to look for the idol. Beatrix and Elle are looking at each other while searching. Jordan and Rosita return to camp to reread the clue. But in the end, Budd finds the idol under a tree stump, with Tommy seeing the whole thing.

Oh, great. Budd now has the idol. This is all Elle's fault. In Britain, we call the likes of her, a clueless "twit." If given a choice to start the game all over again, I'd never align myself with Elle. Ugh. I am having a migraine!


Now, Elle's gonna run for her money! She'll regret voting Jorge out!


Now I am starting to regret voting Jorge out.


At Habagat, convinced that they lost the Reward Challenge, the tribe gloomily returns to doing camp chores. While the whole tribe is busy restocking their firewood pile, Simon and Cap notices Wyatt, who has been inactive since the plane left, napping inside the shelter. The decide that Lana and Cataleya's eliminations can wait, and decide to vote out Wyatt.

Ten days in this game, we haven't seen Wyatt being a big asset to the team. Rather, he is a big liability. Sure, he is an "okay" performer at challenges, but at camp life, he is pretty much a display. If we lose tomorrow, I have no qualms voting him out.


Back at Amihan, Elle tries to shake things up by convincing Rosita and Lawrence to defect from Beatrix and Budd. While both half-heartedly states they would mull it over, Elle promises to them a spot at the Final Three.

Elle's really trying to yank us out from Beatrix. Yeah, siding with her makes sense because no one, at least from our tribe, would vote for her. But again, we are only ten days in, and anything could still happen before that final three. The path to successfully drag Elle to the end is not yet cleared up for me.


Day 11

During a very cloudy morning, the tribes are notified about their next Immunity Challenge via Tree Mail, which comes with a 300-pound tribe-colored dummy. The tribes are to decorate their "new tribemate" before the challenge. At Amihan, while Elle, Beatrix, Jordan and Rosita read Tree Mail, Budd, Joleen, Tommy and Lawrence are away fishing (the four woke up early and decided to fish, despite the obvious bad weather, as their rice supply is halfway empty). The four go fishing anyway, until a torrential downpour hit Palawan. A strong wave hit their raft, capsizing it. Rosita witnesses the entire ordeal. Budd loses all the buckets of fish they caught and almost loses their fishing spear as well, but he manages to retrieve it. Good thing they left most of their fishing twine and bait and only brought a minute portion of it that day. Hanging on for dear life on the raft, the four struggle to swim back to shore. A horrified Rosita alarms her other tribemates, and all four rescue them. Due to the incident, Amihan, which after the incident, is left hungry having not eaten due to the circumstances, decides not to decorate the dummy and just send it to the challenge as it is.

I never witnessed a boat capsize before. It was terrifying!


I thought Mother Nature was trying to blindside us by taking half of our tribe!


We got eaten by the waves, literally! S*** just got real today!


If someone says Survivor is fake in front of me, I'll slap them in the face!


It was our finest hour.


The Amihan tribe's fishing fiasco made them arrive late at the Immunity Challenge. They tell Jeff everything that happened earlier. Jeff is astonished by how the tribe struggled to get back on shore, but is relieved to see the tribe still intact. With Habagat having one extra member, Lana volunteers to sit out.

At the challenge, Amihan is slightly trailing from Habagat, with Rosita and Elle bailing early from the challenge for Amihan. At Habagat, Moira, Emily and Cataleya one by one, bail out for Habagat. Eventually, Joleen bails out for Amihan. This leaves the both tribes down to their remaining male members. Towards the end of the course, the tribes remain closely contested, until Wyatt trips and slows down. Cap yells at Wyatt to bail out, but he insists he can still carry the weight, giving Amihan a chance to catch up and eventually win the challenge, sending Habagat to Tribal Council.

Back at Habagat camp, Simon and Cap discuss whether or not they keep Lana and Cataleya. Cap insists that Wyatt is weak and lazy at camp, but Simon argues Cataleya is exactly the same. Moira and Kaito intervene, saying that Lana and Cataleya are too dangerous to keep, and they still have the clue to the idol. Not wanting to reveal his idol to the tribe, Cap uses the clue to convince the tribe to split their votes between Lana, Cataleya and Wyatt. Simon says Lana is agile at challenges, while Cataleya and Wyatt are the weak ones. The alliance eventually agrees that Wyatt will be the last person they will vote out other than Lana or Cataleya.

Cap and Kaito approach Lana and Cataleya, and the two men honestly tell the two women they will vote out Wyatt. Cap asks them of their trust. Lana says as long as she stays, there should be no problem. Lana tells the information to Cataleya, who then proposes to vote Cap instead as a form of rebellion.

So, Cap is voting for Wyatt, eh? He is telling the world he is our boss. Tonight, we'll show him he's not! We're going to vote for him, just to annoy him.


Cap openly said I am left for dead because of hiding the damn clue, now he wants my trust like *snaps* that? Trust is not a candy.


The tribe decides to have an early dinner before Tribal Council so they can just prepare to sleep after. Wyatt cooks rice and grilled fish. While the grilled fish is somewhat accepted, the tribe secretly complains about it being too pasty.

Wyatt is a chef, but he clearly doesn't know how to cook rice. How wierd.


It's feels great cooking for your tribe. The way to their hearts is through their stomachs.


Wyatt, who believes he is part of Cap's alliance, given their mutual dislike for Lana and Cataleya, approaches Cap. Cap, who is clearly prepared on what to say to Wyatt, tells him that they will split the votes between Lana and Cataleya.

Lana and Cat have nowhere to go. As for us, we are good to go.


At Tribal Council, Jeff brings up the clue to the idol, and Cap calls Lana out because she kept the clue for herself and Cataleya. Furious after thinking Cap already put this issue to rest, Lana angrily empties her bag, proving to her tribe she does not have the idol. Simon then points out that Wyatt consistently lazed around camp. Wyatt argues that he is reserving his energy for the challenge. Simon interrupts him, saying that he was the main reason why they lost the Immunity Challenge. Moira chastises Wyatt, saying that there should be a balance between doing camp chores and challenges. In the end, Lana and Cataleya both cast a "prank vote" on Cap, and while Wyatt still thinks Cap and his alliance will back him up, the Cajun chef from Shreveport, Louisiana, takes the fall after a 6-2-1 vote.

Tribal Council

Tribal Council 4:
Wyatt (6 votes)
Cap, Dominic, Emily, Kaito, Moira, & Simon
Cap (2 votes)
Cataleya & Lana
Lana (1 vote)
Wyatt Wilkie

Voting Confessionals

Final Words

Next Time on Survivor

  • A double elimination, incoming!
  • After a confrontation with Beatrix, Rosita starts to think about switching sides
    • In relation to this, with Budd possessing the rehidden Amihan idol, what would become of Elle's plot to defeat Beatrix?
  • A blindside, also coming up!
  • Two young castaways, sitting on the beach, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. Bad idea.

Author's Notes

Survivor: Culture Clash episodes

"Home vs Visitor" · "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" · "Slave Labor" · "A Clueless Twit" · "A Miserable Old Fool" · "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" · "His Humor Is as Dry as Gandhi's Sandals" · "You and I Have Unfinished Business" · "This Game Is Under New Management" · "Barking Up the Wrong Tree" · "Greed Is the Root of All Evil" · "Bitter Work" · "Dazed and Confused" · "A Pain Worse than Death" · "And the Question Is..."