"A Tribe Full Of Imbeciles!"
Stan's not happy about all the attention Van receives from the females.
Season Survivor: Caucasus
Author User:Blaine7275
Episode Number 1/14
Episode Chronology
Next Gone Like The Wind

A Tribe Full Of Imbeciles! is the first episode of Survivor: Caucasus.


Reward/Immunity Challenge: Temptation Valley
Seven tribe members would be belted together and have to race through a swamp, over a net wall, and under and over a series of hitching posts. The seven would then have to dig up three bags of puzzle pieces and deliver them to the three remaining tribe members. These three would then assemble the puzzle pieces to win the challenge.
Reward: Flint, clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol
Winner: Rioni


Day 1

Twenty average Americans from different walks of life are currently being airlifted to one of Earth's most treacherous locations, the Caucasus Mountains. In this high-altitude terrain, these contestants will have to face the cruel elements as they are forced to work together as tribes in order to thrive in this unforgiving land. But one by one, each person will be eliminated from the game until only one remains. 39 days, 20 people, 1 SURVIVOR!

–Jeff Probst

Hovering through the Caucasian mountain tops, two helicopters are transporting the 20 Americans to their designated location. They don't know what to expect other that they are playing for the title of Sole Survivor and the prize of $1,000,000 that comes along with it. They land in an open, lush field and one by one, each of them steps out of the helicopter and in front of them Jeff Probst stands with two bags in his hands.

Jeff Probst: "Welcome to Survivor: Caucasus. This is were you will be staying for 39 days, battling it out for the grand prize. Out of the twenty of you, only one will win this game. But first, let's assign the tribes. Rachel, Martin, Aaron, Gerardo, Hazel, Agatha, Yessica, Winston, Max, and Heather, you guys will make up the red tribe, Rioni. Amy, Lauren, Sebastian, Stan, Phoebe, Daniel, Mary-Jean, Derek, Samantha, and Van, you are the blue tribe, Alazani. Here are your buffs along with a map to your campsite. Get going."
The two opposing tribes then head out in their separate ways in search of their camps.

There are two types of people in this world, winners and losers. Losing doesn't fit my persona so I'm confident I'll be able to turn my tribe into a winning team. Like come on! "Win" is in my name!


After trying to get on this show for 12 years, I finally got my chance! Being a keen observer of the series, I believe I have what it takes to make it to the end and win this game!


Upon arriving at their camp, Sebastian, the Alazani's tribe oldest member, quickly takes the role as tribe leader. After a tribe meeting, it is unanimously agreed that the main priorities at the moment are building a shelter and making fire.

Sebastian: "I think we should split up into groups. One group goes out and finds materials for the shelter, another begins working on the foundation of the shelter, while the third group tries to start the fire."
Van: "I'd like to volunteer to make the fire."
Lauren: "Oh! Me too!"
Phoebe: "Make that three!
Sebastian: "OK. Let's get started!"

Back in Texas, I served as a police officer before I retired a couple years back, so I naturally stepped up as tribe leader. Hopefully, I'll be able to lead this tribe to victory!


I actually have no idea how to start a fire. But with one glimpse of Van, you can immediately tell that he's a model or actor! So gorgeous!


Back at Rioni's campsite, the tribe seems to be in disarray as they can't seem to come to a conscensus on what to do first. Immediately, a heated arguement between Hazel and Heather installs:

Heather: "Look "chica", we need to build the shelter over here!"
Hazel: "But that's out in the open! What if it rains? We'll get soaked! We need to build the shelter under the cover of the trees!"
Heather: "But the ground over there is soft and moist! Things live in that kind of dirt. I don't want to fall asleep then wake up the next morning with bugs all over me!"
Hazel: "We're in the wild! Of course there will be bugs all over us! Stop being such a baby! We're building our shelter under the trees!"
Heather: "No!"
Aaron: "Oh my gosh! Hazel, you build your shelter over there, and Heather, you build yours over there. Then everybody gets to choose where they sleep!"
Heather and Hazel: "Fine!"

Both Hazel and Heather storm away leaving the rest of the tribe confused yet a bit irritated. Everyone then starts doing their own thing.

These girls drive me nuts! Due to their constant bickering, we weren't able to get anything accomplished and it looks like we're going to have to sleep in the floor tonight. And to think that this is just Day 1.


Heather gets me so mad! She's lucky I can't touch her, but if we lose tomorrow's challenge, I promise you she's going home first!


Unlike Rioni, Alazani seems to have things in check. Sebastian, Daniel, and Derek are working on the shelter, Samantha, Mary-Jean, Amy, and Stan are gathering supplies, and Van, Phoebe, and Lauren are trying to make the fire. As Stan comes back to camp with a big load of branches, he notices that Lauren and Phoebe are attempting to start the fire while Van is just sitting back and watching them with a smile on his face. After making more trips back to camp, he notices that Van still has yet to even touch the fire-starting sticks.

What a womanizer! I bet he's probably using them to get himself further in the game. He may have fooled them, but not me!


As the sun sets on the Caucasus Mountains, both tribes, unable to start a fire, sleep in the utter darkness. Fortunately, Alazani was able to contruct their shelter before the day's end.

Day 2

At the break of dawn, a stiff and sore Rioni tribe wakes up to Hazel's plotting.

Hazel: "Sorry guys, I didn't mean to wake you, but I need to talk to you guys."
Yessica: "Uhh. What for?"
Hazel: "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I slept horribly last night. And this is all because of Heather. I say that if we lose today's challenge, we vote her out. Are you guy's in?"
Rachel: "I am! She's so unpleasant to be around. And my back is killing me, I think I slept on top of a rock!"
Yessica: "Her behavior yesterday was ridiculous, so I'm in too."
Gerardo: "She was out of line, and sleeping out in the open wasn't a good idea. So count me in."
Hazel: Yay! Thanks guys!"

Bye Heather! Two more votes and you're out of here!


As the sun was set in the middle of the sky, both tribes arrived to their first immunity challenge. As Jeff welcomed them in, he told the tribes that the winner of this challenge would not only win immunity, but also fire in the form of flint. As Jeff gave the signal, both tribes commenced with the challenge. Alazani started with an early lead, breezing through the swamp and net wall with ease. However, Stan began to thumble at the hitching posts, giving Rioni the opportunity to catch up, leaving both tribes dead even as they dug up their puzzle pieces. Alazani was the first to dig them all up, but Rioni quickly caught up leaving the fate of the challenge in the puzzle makers' hands. At the puzzle, Rioni's Yessica, Gerardo, and Agatha were able to edge out Alazani's Jean-Mary, Phoebe, and Lauren giving Rioni the first win of the season and sending Alazani to Tribal Council.

Upon arriving at camp, Stan was quick to tell his tribe (with the exception of Lauren, Phoebe, and Van) about his ordeal with Van.

Stan: "Listen guys, I know I kind of messed up at the challenge, but there's something I need to tell you about Van. Lately, I've been keeping an eye on him and have seen the way he completely manipulates the other girls. He needs to go."
Amy: "Really? I always thought he was a nice guy."
Stan: "No, that's all an act. He wants you to think he's all sweet and caring, but then he'll stab you right in the back when he has the chance. You have to believe me."
Samantha: "And how do you know all of this?"
Stan: "I've known people like him all my life. They waltz in pretending to be the perfect person, acting all innocent, but when you let your guard down, they show who they really are."
Mary-Jean: "Well I believe you. I've also seen the way he treats the women on his tribe and it's not something I'm fond of."
Derek: "I don't know. He's one of this tribe's strongest members. It might not be a good idea to take a strong person like him out this early in the game."
Stan: "So be it then."

Well, I've done everything I could. If they still don't see the point I'm trying to make, then I'm in a tribe full of imbeciles!


At Rioni, Aaron and Heather take the flint they won in the challenge to finally start a fire, but then discover a hidden note on it. Aaron reads it:

Aaron: "Congrats on winning the first challenge of the season, but this clue is hidden in the flint for a reason. Throughout your camp, many idols are scattered, but finding one will not really matter. All of the idols are fake but one, find the real idol and the game you have won."
Heather: "Aaron! Don't tell anyone about this! Let's just make this our little secret."
Aaron: "No problem."

Ugghh! Out of all the people on my tribe, why did Heather have to be there when I found the clue?!


Day 3

The next day, as Alazani worked on their on their dailey chores, Mary-Jean and Sebastian discuss what Stan told them the day before

Mary-Jean: "So Sebastian, what are you thinking?"
Sebastian "I don't know. I've too noticed the way Van's been behaving around everyone, especially the girls, but if we plan to win future challenges, we need him around. On the other hand, Stan clearly cost us the challenge and he may be a liability in the future. But he's such a great guy. I'm so torn right now."
Mary-Jean: "I understand. But I'll tell you right now, that I completely believe Stan's allegations. Something about Van is just not right. I'll leave you to think it over."
Sebastian: "Alright."

As tribe leader, I'm supposed to be thinking about the good of the tribe. So would be it better if we keep the strong yet untrustworthy Van, or weak but reliable Stan?


Later that day, Alazani shows up to the first Tribal Council of the season.

Jeff: Welcome guys. Go ahead and grab a torch and dip it in the fire. In this game, fire represents life, and when your fire is out, so are you."

Jeff starts the tribal council by asking the tribe how life had been in camp these last three days. Amy states that it's gone pretty well under Sebastian's leadership, but that they have yet to start a fire. Stan then adds that not everyone is pulling their weight, referring to Van. Jeff asks if this is true, in which Van denies, saying that the girls offered to take care of the fire and that he didn't want to intrude on them as they were so determined on starting the fire by themselves. He also adds that since everyone has done very well on the chores they were assigned by Sebastian, there hasn't been any need for his assistance elsewhere. Annoyed by his remark, Stan turns to the girls and tells them that Van is just using them for their vote. Unpleased, Van exclaims that his mother raised him better than that and also says that getting rid of him so early will only hurt the tribe, and that Stan is the one that needs to go, in which Phoebe, Lauren, and Samantha nod in agreement.

Jeff: "And with that, it's time to vote. Daniel, you're up first."

After everyone finishes voting, Jeff goes and tallies the votes.

Jeff: "If anyone wants to play a Hidden Immunity Idol, now's the time to do so."
Stan: "Well Jeff, I found this while I was out collecting firewood. I was hoping I didn't have to use this, but they left me no choice. Here you go."
Jeff: "The rules of Survivor state that if a Hidden Immunity Idol is played, any votes cast against that person do not count and the person with the next highest number of votes will be voted out. This is not a Hidden Immunity Idol. Any votes against Stan will count. Time to read the votes."

As the votes were read, the tribe seemed to have came to a conscensus that strengh was more important than trust and Stan was voted out with eight votes against him. As his torch was snuffed, Stan wished the tribe luck before heading out.

Tribal Council

Tribal Council 1:
Stan Bailey
Stan (8 votes)
Derek PhuVan StevensonLauren FaasSamantha Marino
Daniel MarvinPhoebe NoyolaAmy CorazonSebastian Hibbard
Derek, Van, Lauren, Samantha,
Daniel, Phoebe, Amy & Sebastian
Van Stevenson
Van (2 votes)
Stan BaileyMary-Jean Pettie
Stan & Mary-Jean
Stan Bailey BW
Stan Bailey

Voting Confessionals

Nobody tells me what to do!


Your false accusations were so uncalled for.


My vote is for Stan. Sorry man, but we need strong people.


Stan. I deeply apologize for casting my vote against you. But as leader of this tribe, I need to think about the wellness of the group.


You went after me, so I went after you.


This vote is not personal. You're a great guy, but I don't believe you would have helped much in challenges.


I'm extremely sorry for this. It was very nice getting to know you.


I can't trust you. Simple as that.


You aren't fooling me.


If I want to get far in this game, Van needs to stay, which means that you have to go.


Final Words

When I first watched this show, I knew from the second that I had to be a part of it, and after 12 years of trying, I finally got my chance. Maybe I tried to play the game too hard, too quick, but every moment of it is something I will never forget. I want to wish luck on my tribe, hopefully one of you wins this!


Still In The Running

Aaron McCarthy
Agatha Christenson
Gerardo Guzman
Hazel Quezada
Heather Villegas
Martin Bowell
Max Fisher
Rachel Hudson
Winston Grant
Yessica Chang
Amy Corazon
Daniel Marvin
Derek Phu
Lauren Faas
Mary-Jean Pettie
Phoebe Noyola
Samantha Marino
Sebastian Hibbard
Stan Bailey BW
Van Stevenson

Next Time On Survivor...

  • The harsh weather of the Caucacus batters down an already demoralized tribe and one castaway reveals their true intentions.

Author's Notes

  • The Reward/Immunity Challenge is the same challenge used in Want To See The Elephant Dung? (Part 1) from Survivor: Gabon.
  • I got the idea of choosing the Caucasus Mountains as the location for this season from a documentary I watched on Animal Planet. The place was absolutely beautiful and that's where I got the idea that Survivor should make a season there. The place also reminded me a lot of Survivor: Gabon, which was a location I really liked.
  • This episode's title was said by Stan.
Survivor: Caucasus Episodes

A Tribe Full Of Imbeciles! · Gone Like The Wind · To Live, Thrive, and Conquer · Beautiful People's Club · She Can't Blame It On The Alcohol · Expect The Unexpected · Smooth Sailing · One Foot Out The Door · Triple Play · Playing Everybody's Game · Three-Faced · David & Goliath · A Girl's Best Friend · Fight To The Finish