"His Humor Is as Dry as Gandhi's Sandals"
Season Survivor: Culture Clash
Author IAmNothing712
Episode Number 7/15
Episode Chronology
Previous "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do"
Next "You and I Have Unfinished Business"

This is the seventh episode of Survivor: Culture Clash.

Previously on Survivor


Reward Challenges: Dance-Off
The day before the actual challenge, local professional dancers will teach the tribes how to dance one of the trickiest folk dances in the Philippines: Pandanggo, which requires dancing while holding two candles, one on both hands, and another on top of the head. The next day, the tribes will show off their 90 second-routines in front of a panel of judges. The tribe that has a higher score, wins reward.
Reward: A traditional Filipino feast being cooked as the challenge is underway.
Winner: Habagat

Immunity Challenge: Blind Cube Crisis
One caller will verbally give directions to five blindfolded tribemates to puzzle blocks scattered around the field. Once all fifteen puzzle blocks have been collected, the entire tribe will assemble the puzzle. First tribe to complete, wins immunity
Winner: Habagat


Night 16

Returning to camp from Tribal Council after blindsiding Joleen, Jordan heavily castigates Beatrix for flipping to the Americans. Clueless as to what Jordan and Beatrix are fighting about, Cap intervenes to ease the tension between the two Internationals. Jordan rats Beatrix out for flipping to the Americans side, explaining to Cap that Emily tried to swing the vote against the Americans by conspiring with them, but Beatrix voted Joleen instead. Stunned by Jordan throwing her under the bus, Emily confesses. In a confessional, Jordan explains why he leaked Emily and Beatrix's flip-flopping. Jordan further adds Beatrix's frustration by telling the whole tribe that Beatrix is running Elle's rival alliance, and Budd has their former tribe's Hidden Immunity Idol. Traumatized by Jordan's bold statements, Beatrix finds it hard to sleep.

I knew since the switch that Beatrix will not work with us because of our connection with Elle. So I came up with a backup plan, which is, to rat her and Emily out for betraying their alliances, so I will be safe. I hope I've done enough ruckus so that either of those two leaves should we lose.


Jordan slamming me was terrible. I don't know how will I weed my way out of this. Cap will definitely not talk to me, nor Simon, most definitely not Jordan.


I tried to play a very quiet game by letting Cap's ego get in everyone's way, but Jordan comes out of nowhere and threw me under the bus. It's definitely me or Beatrix who's going next, but if the Americans are to prevail in this game, I have to assume I am in a better spot than her. I think it's best to stay out of the way like I usually do, but I have to put a bug in their minds, that the Americans need to stick together.


Day 17

At Amihan, Kaito, who still tries to cope after losing Moira back in the old Habagat, does impressions of his fellow competitors, in both tribes. Kaito does a Budd impression, complete with a clenched jaw (a naturally clenched jaw is Budd's trademark mannerism) and voice. The real Budd is impressed. Kaito then copies Lana by making a blanket look like a pencil dress (Lana entered the game wearing a corporate attire), and mimicking the most pretentious, obnoxious and squeakiest voice he can pull off. As the tribe hysterically laughs, Cataleya describes the impression as "the closest as Lana as you can get."

Kaito's lovable. I like him. He was one of those oddballs who makes you gravitate to him without you even knowing it.

–Cataleya, on Kaito

Elle returns to camp after going to their Tree Mail, telling the tribe there is no message planted in their Tree Mail. While the tribe ponders as to why they don't have a challenge yet, a boat arrives, carrying two professional Filipino dancers, explaining to the that their next Reward Challenge is a dance-off challenge (concurrently, two instructors also arrive at the Habagat tribe camp). All day, the instructors on both camps tediously teach the tribes a dance called "Pandaggo", a dance that originated from the Spanish Fandango. The dance requires the survivors to dance while holding three candles, one on each hand, and a third candle on top of their heads. The instructors reveal that the reward would be a feast immediately following the challenge. Amihan chooses Cataleya to sit out in this challenge, to Elle's chagrin, as she wanted to sit out because she has two left feet.

The survivors start practicing using unlit candle holders, and by the afternoon, they start practicing with actual lit candles in the holders. Elle, who has two left feet, struggles to balance the candle holder on her head. At first the tribe finds it funny, but as the day goes, they start to get annoyed of Elle's constant griping, especially Rosita, who knows the dance, being Filipina.

We are getting increasingly frustrated with Elle right now, because she is not trying hard, actually not trying at all. We all are struggling in this challenge, not just you, what makes you so special?


I feel offended by Elle's actions today. Like, this dance is part of my culture and she didn't take the dance seriously.


At Habagat, Simon, who also has two left feet, tries hard to get the dance steps right. Lana and Beatrix secretly giggles at the sight.

Simon's unknowingly charming. He can do funny without even trying. Like, his humor is as dry as Gandhi's sandals.


At sundown, the instructors leave the survivors, but not before reminding them to practice intensely because they performance is tomorrow at noontime. Habagat continues practicing until bedtime, while Amihan cannot get it together because Elle is uncooperative, half-heartedly doing the moves, and makes jokes about the routine. Budd chastises Elle for her apathetic approach in the challenge, reminding her that they have a Filipina tribemate (Rosita), who is increasingly offended by her actions.

I don't know. This challenge is annoying. I can't dance for the life of me.


Back at Amihan, as the tribe practices over dinner, Simon continues to motivate the tribe to perfect their routine, inspiring the tribe to do well.

I am surprising myself out here. This dance challenge is something personal to me. Years ago, back in high school, I didn't even make it as prom king. For one, I sucked at dancing. I had a consolation prize though, because the homecoming queen ended up being my wife.


Day 18

The tribes practice for the rest of the morning, until their instructors return for their final rehearsal. The tribes then convene in a village, where the dance-off is to be set. There, they meet Jeff Probst and the town captain. On the side is their reward, a traditional Filipino feast being cooked by the locals. Also, Jeff reveals that the winning tribe will give the villagers gifts such as school supplies and toys.

The Amihan tribe goes in first. As expected, Elle is a trainwreck, continually dropping the candle on her head, while her tribemates find it hard to put a straight face as they carry out the routine. At the end of the routine, the candle on Elle's head drops for the final time, but a small amount of melted wax dropped on Elle's right cheek, requiring medical attention. Elle cries in horror. The judges are clearly unamused by Elle's attitude.

This is the worst day ever!


I am not expecting anything less from Elle, because she is a true blue drama queen. She was awful in that performance and she visibly does not care for the challenge. I wish she got burned on the other cheek so it matches.


The Habagat tribe is up next. The judges laud their coordination, while Simon shouts beatings loudly, making the locals giggling. Lana drops the candle holder on her head, but she decides not to pick it up and continue on with the dance.

The judges then give their criticisms. They castigate Elle for being too conscious of everthing around her instead of focusing on the dance, while they praise Lana for continuing the routine despite the mishap. The judges decide that Habagat's well-practiced routine is better, giving them the challenge win.

Returning from the challenge, Budd chastises Elle for not sucking it up, Elle fires back, saying it is over. Budd tells Elle his anger is not about losing the challenge, it was about her apathy towards it, reminding them that losing all of their rice is a big blow to the tribe (their banana tree starts to run out of fruit), and they need nourishment. Elle walks off.

There is this negativity around camp that I don't want to be in right now. We lost. Deal with it!


I am seriously pondering on voting Elle out, but at the same time, if we vote her out, the Internationals will enter the merge with bad numbers, 7-5, and we don't want that.


After a bath and receiving a new pair of clothes, the Habagat tribe is given a warm welcome by the villagers. Beatrix happily gives the children toys while a child is on her shoulders, massaging her bald head. Cap plays with the children, who teach him how to play patintero.

This reward is more than just food for our bodies. It's food for our souls. As people who live in the big city, we tend to overlook things that give and add meaning to life. These families lived in very limited resources but they still managed to live life with a smile on their faces. This child on my shoulder's hasn't left my bald head, and he reminds me of my child I left back home.


It boosts your spirits up seeing people other than your tribemates after living with them for a long time. The bath, the feast, the donation, the whole experience are things I will cherish for the years to come.


Evening at Amihan, Kaito and Dominic initiate an exchange of bar room jokes, the conversation becomes so infectious, the everyone shares their own jokes. Elle fails to pull off the punch line. While Budd is visibly enjoying their company, the game is still on his mind.

Kaito's becoming more and more threatening to me. If he lasts long, he will laugh his way to the end.


At Habagat, while tending the bonfire, Cap comes up with an idea to give the Americans a numbers advantage come the merge. Cap proposes to Simon to throw the next Immunity Challenges to vote out Beatrix and Jordan. Simon agrees with the idea.

It only makes sense to throw the remaining Immunity Challenges for us to eliminated the Internationals out, one by one. It won't take long until this game will be for ours for the taking!


Day 19

Early morning at Habagat, Cap comes to Lana to explain their plan, while Simon goes to Emily. Emily reports to Beatrix and Jordan about the plan, saying they are in trouble, and so are their comrades back at Amihan. Lana, comes to the scene to also tell Beatrix about Cap's plot to sabotage the challenge. Beside Lana, Emily says she is still open to align with Beatrix, and if they do lose the challenge, they will blindside Cap. Emily tells Lana she is willing to work with her and bury the hatchet because she is more threatened by Cap than she is annoyed with Lana. Lana calls for a truce. Jordan says that if Cap and Simon do start throwing the challenge, they should just do their best, and if they lose, they should vote Cap out. Though skeptical of Emily joining her alliance with Beatrix, Lana shakes her hand. As emily flees the scene, Beatrix whispers to Lana that she is still her "number two."

Out of nowhere, Emily comes up to me and asks for a ceasefire. I was like, "sure!" But at the back of my head, I was like, who gave her weed?


At first, I wanted the Americans to stick together, but with Cap starting to make noise, he is turning into a bigger target I cannot afford to last long. I have to make sure he won't get further than me.


Later, Simon returns to camp holding their next Tree Mail, which implies that their next challenge would require blindfolds. Now knowing about Simon's plot, Beatrix volunteers herself as their caller.

The tribes convene for the Immunity Challenge. After explaining the mechanics of the challenge, Jeff gives the tribes time to strategize. With one extra member, Amihan benches Elle. Cataley will be the caller for Amihan, while Beatrix reaffirms her decision to be the caller of Habagat.

Cap and Simon begin working on their plan to sabotage the challenge by acting lost, prompting Beatrix to concentrate on giving directions at Lana, Jordan and Emily. Meanwhile, Cataleya makes quick work, shouting short, but enough directions at her blindfolded tribemates. Cap and Simon act frustrated to catch Beatrix off-guard. As a solution, Beatrix lets them wander off for a while. Budd returns with Amihan's final piece, allowing them to assemble the puzzle. Budd takes charge, but he quickly butt heads with Kaito, who also claims to know how to assemble the puzzle. While Habagat only has three active members, Jordan, Emily and Lana compensate Cap and Simon's inactivity by collecting pieces Cap and Simon should've collected. With few pieces remaining, Cap and Simon, who stand next to each other, decide to finally help, saying they cannot catch up any way. They call Beatrix out to direct them to their remaining pieces. The two bring Habagat's final pieces, allowing them to catch up. Halfway through the puzzle, Cataleya sees a pattern out of place, causing the tribe to dismantle their puzzle completely. Jordan and Lana lead the Habagat tribe in solving the puzzle. Jordan places the final pieces, winning Habagat the challenge. Simon and Cap are visibly dismayed by failing in throwing the challenge.

As Jeff congratulates the Habagat tribe for winning the challenge, Beatrix angrily calls out Cap and Simon for planning to throw the challenge. Cap and Simon deny all allegations. The suddenly, Lana and Emily go at Cap for lying confirming to everyone that the two men tried to sabotage the challenge so that they can easily vote out the Internationals out post-merge. Cap admits the plan, calling out that Budd has the Amihan Hidden Immunity Idol. Budd admits he has it, but he tells them the idol is back at camp. Budd smugly warns Cap that after Beatrix called him out, there is a higher possibility that one of their American tribemates since the Internationals outnumber their American tribemates, 4-3. Back at camp, Budd shows his tribe the Hidden Immunity Idol. Kaito and Dominic, knowing Elle is at the bottom of the International totem pole, plan to persuade Elle to join their side.

Cap was basically signalling us to scramble against Budd so that we get a numbers advantage post merge. But I am worried that none of them would budge. If anything, our only hope, though a longshot, is Elle. Elle seems to be distant to her fellow Internationals, but her remaining loyal to them makes sense because if one of us Americans goes home tonight, we will be even again 6-6, and it is likely that we will merge soon.


Budd tells Lawrence and Rosita that Cap must have an ulterior motive for calling his and his idol out. Budd speculates that Cap either: 1.) Just wanted the tribe to turn on an International to maintain their numbers; 2.) To simply scare the Amihan idol out from him; or 3.) Either him or one of the Americans at Amihan has the Habagat idol, and Cap wanted to repel all the attention from him. Rosita then expresses her worry that Elle might flip against the Americans. Budd admits he is nervous about Elle, but he believes that Elle's smart move at this point is to remain with the Internationals or risk having them merge with bad numbers, 7-5.

Rosita makes a point: Elle is not part of our original alliance, but her siding with Habagat won't make sense in the long run because it will be more convenient for the Americans to pick them off, one by one post merge. Nonetheless, Elle is the swing vote. Of all people, that dimwit...


Dominic comes up to Elle, asking her if she is open to swing the vote at Budd. Elle honestly tells Dominic her vote is still undecided. Dominic promises that if Elle sides with her, he, Kaito and Cataleya have her and Jordan's back.

My vote is still a toss up at this point. If I side with Budd, Beatrix can snap my neck anytime she wants once the Internationals get the upper hand, but at the same time, Dominic and Kaito gave me an opening, promising me I have their support and they are open to bring Jordan over. I personally don't know what to do right now.


How dare Dominic by dragging my name without my consent?! I trust neither Dom or Kaito, and I certainly don't trust Elle. I'm going back to Lana and compare notes. Since we are nearing the merge, I don't think I will be targeted soon.


Minutes before Tribal Council, Budd talks to Elle about her voting options. Elle states she is honestly unsure which side she would go. Budd promises her that he will do whatever he can to persuade Beatrix to keep her longer. Elle will out that in consideration, but she does not give any promises.

This upcoming vote will either make me or break me.


At Tribal Council, Jeff brings up Cap calling Budd out. With no hesitation, Budd reveals his idol to Jeff. With the Internationals on the majority, Dominic explains how precarious his, Kaito and Cataleya's positions are, not knowing who will the Internationals vote out next. Elle then is admonished for her lack of effort at the Reward Challenge. In the end, Elle stays with the Internationals, and with fifth vote coming from Cataleya, Kaito takes the fall in a 5-2 vote.

Tribal Council

Tribal Council 8:
Kaito (5 votes)
Budd, Cataleya, Elle, Lawrence, & Rosita
Budd (2 votes)
Dominic & Kaito
Kaito Moto

Voting Confessionals

Final Words

Next Time on Survivor

  • The merge arrives.
  • Both original tribes struggle to maintain tribal lines. Simon wants the Americans to stick together, while Beatrix and Elle still are still at war with each other.

Author's Notes

  • The Reward Challenge was a redux of a challenge back in Cursed Idol.
Survivor: Culture Clash episodes

"Home vs Visitor" · "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" · "Slave Labor" · "A Clueless Twit" · "A Miserable Old Fool" · "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" · "His Humor Is as Dry as Gandhi's Sandals" · "You and I Have Unfinished Business" · "This Game Is Under New Management" · "Barking Up the Wrong Tree" · "Greed Is the Root of All Evil" · "Bitter Work" · "Dazed and Confused" · "A Pain Worse than Death" · "And the Question Is..."